After researching many aspects of black culture I have been presented with the topic of misogyny in the black community. Many black women feel that black men mistreat black women, that they are self-hating men who lust after white women, they are abusers and overall "the cancer of society". I honestly cannot pretend that black men are these loving characters that put their women on a pedestal. I have seen countless black men belittle dark skin females just to make light skin females feel beautiful, or heard stories of black men beating or cheating on their girlfriends. As far as cheating goes I have been conditioned since I was a young girl to think that all black men are cheaters, willing to infect their girlfriends with HIV just to sleep around. I have seen black men dog out the prettiest, smartest and most driven black women all for the sake of being evil. Even in my own family I have never seen men who treat women with the respect they deserve only cheating, men who never accepted responsibility but rather distribute the blame on women and produce children without any intentions of being faithful. The sad thing is after they have destroyed any sense of hope in these black women they call these women "crazy" or "bitter". They make black women feel that they are inventing these feelings of mistreatment and neglect yet black women have to question if a black man will even date them if he is successful. I literally could go on and on about this subject because it causes me so much distress and bewilderment. Many African American woman feel that the answer is to date outside their race. I recently saw a post about a woman saying she saw many of her family and friends marrying white men but she wanted to wait for her black man. Many women thought this was stupid but I couldn't judge her. She has pride in who she is, a person of African descent and she wanted to share this same pride with a mate with the same mentality. Personally, I do not see white men as the second coming some of them are just as sneaky, abusive, dishonest and unfaithful as black men. I do see that many of them have a leg up in their careers and are more family oriented. Many black women feel that black men don't work, well I wouldn't say that. It's that some are not ambitious enough and many of those who are successful are arrogant they know they are some of the few black men making it in life and expect black women to put up with their baggage and foul treatment. Most black men, like black women have a complex due to negative portrayals of black people in society, dysfunctional homes with missing fathers and bitter single mothers who took their anger out on their children, or had a mother who over glorified them for being good in academics so they thought anything bad they did, didn't count. Then there are the color struck dark skin men who hate dark skin women who make up excuses for their self-hate by attaching negative traits to black or dark skin women by saying they are all ghetto, have children out of wedlock and are on welfare. Secretly, they love light skin, good hair and green or blue eyes and want their children to look as white as possible so they seek mixed or white women. There are also the weave haters who make weave seem like it's ghetto like white celebrities don't wear weave. Or the pro-black men who demonize weave wearers as self-hate instead of the obvious which is protective styling. When my hair is braided for 2 weeks or longer it grows I could never wear these braids out for longer than a week because my hair is thin and never stays neat longer than four days without it looking old and re-braiding it would defeat the purpose of it being a protective style. These men refuse to believe black women have trouble with breakage and say it's an execuse to try to look white which is not true because I wear afro wigs a lot because my hair tangles a lot when I leave it out and thin hair doesn't provide a good thick fro but rather see through mess. White men either don't care about black women's hair or they don't care enough to demonize us for wearing it. Even with all this I don't really want to date a white man and explain my hair to them nor be apart of their African or ghetto queen fetish. The white guys who liked me felt the need to mention their interest in rap music or that they loved my braids. I also look at many Youtubers in interracial relationships which ironically are natural hair Youtubers and some of their white husbands or boyfriends seem gay or unattractive not all but some. It comes off like it's settling on both parts the white man can't find his white female companion so he looks for a black woman because she will be happy to get any white man. This is not all the cases some are perfect interracial couples that seem like soulmates. I just have an issue with this promotion of interracial relationships by black people who buy into this white savior complex like we don't have enough division in our community. The early welfare system prohibited black men in the home, slavery broke up the black family so why are we promoting another tactic to divide black people? But black women are not making these issues up if your a black man be honest; How do you treat black women? How do your friends treat black women? What kind of fathers do you see? Are you married or faithful? Do you accept blame or play mind games like silent treatment? See I'm not trying to dog out black men or glorify white men. I want us black people to think about what we promote or how we treat each other. I can never say that I will never date a white man. Never say never right? I just refuse to put any man on a pedistol. I'm not waiting on any man and I'm not delusional and self-hating waiting on my white prince or thinking every black man will treat me like a queen. I'm confused I guess still trying to make sense of issues in the black community all while playing devils advocate and steering clear of romanticism. 10/24/2015 10:06:23 am
True.. very true actually!
Empress
10/24/2015 11:15:48 am
Oh God... place this on the list with the other complexes created in which we battle daily as Black women, me, people... What happened to just loving with who you want to love... No judgement, no pretenses!
Kiki
11/2/2015 09:35:33 am
Many people were mad about this post but like I said I tell it like it is. A lot of black men have issues with black women. There are some good black men but they seem to be dating someone or married. Someone said I was dumb for talking about many black women's slim dating selections but it's the truth. As for white men I question their intentions. Coco fetishes are not cool. Follow me on Facebook.
Larry
10/26/2015 12:43:51 pm
También me gustó, saludos desde Colombia! Comments are closed.
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AuthorMy name is Kiara and writing is the way I express myself. Archives
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